I am day 8, I Am a small creature

I Am......

A small creature in a huge world created by God's loving hands. I long to know Him and am passionate about understanding the greatness of God. When I focus on Him, I am able to grasp the vast, incomprehensible, mysterious infinity of God's wisdom, power, presence and love. The more I know about the greatness of God, the more I know the value in the love He extends towards me. There is a joy in my heart that comes from understanding how great He is. 

He has set kings on the throne, set our entire world into existence with a small breath from His mighty mouth, how much more can I trust Him to handle my little 'ol life? He is far more capable at governing my life and the joy that comes from knowing He can handle it without hesitation sets my heart on fire. 

Read and reflect on 1 Chronicles 29:10-13

Will you exalt Him to head of your life? Will you become a part of His glorious Kingdom?  

I Am day 5, Not of this world

I Am......

Not of this world. Living a life consecrated to God can seem difficult at times--especially in a world where we are constantly bombarded with ways in which we can depend on ourselves rather than God. This world pushes "self" and how great we are, what an impact we have, instead of how great He is and what an impact He has. There is nothing in and of ourselves that can achieve greatness--it is through the blessings of our great God that we can achieve what He sees fit. 

Sometimes it makes no sense to us, for His ways are far greater than ours. But we must always hold strong to the truth that He has a far greater plan for each of our lives than we could ever imagine. His plans are overrun by our racing thoughts and by the constant hub bub of this world. But, if we stay in constant communication with Him, surrendering each moment to Him, the overwhelming world has no affect on our life. 

Read and reflect on Isaiah 41:10

Do you feel dismayed, fear the unknown in this crazy world? How do you think depending more on Him can alleviate some of those anxious feelings? 

Read and reflect on Psalm 27:8

Are you seeking His face?

I am day 5, I am not who the world wants me to be

I Am........

Not who the world wants me to be. The world typically doesn't want on fire for Christ Christians--that usually brings about change in people when they are truly around those being led by the Spirit. The ideal Christian in the eyes of the world as a whole is one who ONLY goes to church and is there to come to when there is a crisis because there is undeniable proof that prayer comforts people in time of crisis. To see and accept the total changed person and love them, that is something the world has a tough time doing. But, a true and changed person simply lives their life every day to the beat of their ability, and when their ability run sour it is God who fills then. They love others, they admit when they're wrong, because they're human and wrong often. And they do nothing--not take a walk, a bath, comb their hair, watch a movie, fall in love, stay in love, live life--part from God. 

But, the enemy has blinded us as a whole from the beginning of time and it's only through Christ and the indwelling Spirit that we can regain that sight. Becoming this new person is simple and complex, magnificent and gut wrenching. It fights everything within us naturally to sit back and go with the flow. It sets us on a new path and typically that path is much much more windy than necessary because of that natural instinct to fight change. But change is precious and necessary when we are walking with Christ. 

We should be quick to remember as well that it is not the change someone else deems worthy, but what Christ deems worthy. It is a personal daily relationship with Christ and the Father and allowing His Spirit to convict us when necessary and simply communicate with us the rest of our time. He wants a heart relationship with us. He wants to be One that we can cry to, laugh with, yell at, question, but ALWAYS trust and ALWAYS know that His will is far greater than we can ever understand. This blind trust and true faith is something that is hard to spot sometimes when we are looking at a world so painted with sin. And this world when being painted by the enemy doesn't want a true and honest relationship with Christ because they haven't allowed the true Painter to begin painting their beautiful canvas yet. 

Will you allow Him? Or is your current canvas enough for you? 

Read and reflect on Jeremiah 18:1-4

Will you allow the grueling transformation? 

Read and reflect on Romans 12:2

Will you be transformed and renewed? 

I am day 4, I Am Not

I Am Not......

Sarah is a 29 year old married mom of 4 who just accepted Jesus s her Savior. Sarah started attending a church about six months before her acceptance of Christ and upon entry to church the Sunday following her baptism Sarah felt uneasy and no longer excited about her new life with her Lord and Savior. Sarah was handed this flyer as she walked through the church doors:

“We are so excited about your decision to accept Jesus as your Savior, you are now a child of the King and must continue to show Him that you are worthy. Now that you are saved, please do not speak of your previous life, we do not want to hear about what a sinner you used to be. Do not drink. Do not wear pants. Do not wear makeup. Do not wear two-pieces. Do not ask to lead a bible study, we will ask you if we see that you a bearing the correct fruits. Do not is church. Do not associate with your old sinful friends. Do not associate with anyone not saved."

Obviously this flyer is extreme. I do not personally know anyone who was handed this flyer. But, I do personally know that some of these things were said to me and those I know personally and I have one thing to say--only God can tell us what we can and cannot do and only God can tell us who we are and are not. Opinions and "rules" are thrown out there by each of us, and so often we speak on the basis that we are exhorting some truth that will change their life, when I'm reality we are picking apart their life so that they can fit some cookie cutter person we have created. 

God made Us. God formed us. God is the one that will take our hearts and mold them into the magnificent beating organ that can change lives. Just because Susie next door is terrific at organizing a child's birthday party doesn't mean you have to be. Just because Billy's mom Tonya gave up wearing makeup because she didn't like the feel on her face, doesn't mean you have to. Just because Allison homeschools her 7 children and always seems so put together when you see her doesn't mean she is. The only truth in these statements is that they are true for some family some where--it doesn't have to be your family. 

Let God tell you what activities you might enjoy, let God reveal to you every passion that He crafted within your soul.

Read & reflect on Jeremiah 29:11

Notice how it doesn't say, 'I have plans for you & so & so"--the plans He has for each of us are specifically crafted & chosen by Him for His purposes. We cannot allow others to squash pieces of us that God may want to use for His special reasons. We cannot say what God wants to do in someone else's life. We cannot know what way God wants to us, how can we begin to say how He wants to use someone else? 

The answer, we can't.

We simply can't compare ourselves to others!!! We are unique, one of a kind gems in a rare collection held only by One. 

I am day 3--I am not

I am not....

.................anything that the enemy tries to convince me I am. The enemy is cunning, deceitful, & wants nothing more than to separate us from God & for us to lose all hope in the One who can defeat him. We cannot let Him have that victory. Our souls are not for him to take pleasure in. Our souls were created for a relationship with the Savior, Prince of Peace & it is within a relationship with Him that the enemy has no barring on our life. He is powerless when the power is Christ. 

Use that power. 

Humble yourself before the throne & admit that the enemy has lies that overwhelm you & threaten to steal your joy--ask Him to fill that emptiness. Ask Him to stand you up tall. We tower over the tallest structures when it's God who is lengthening our body!! 

Read & reflect on John 10:10

Do you ever feel as if a thief is stealing from your life? Do you believe God when He says that Jesus came to bring life & life abundantly? Are you experiencing abundant life? Do you think our idea of an abundant life & God's idea are the same? 

I am day 2

Anne stood 5'7" with brown hair and emerald green eyes and she loathed herself. When Anne woke in the mornings and looked in the mirror, she saw nothing but ugly dark circles under her eyes, unmanageable hair, a nose that wasn't centered correctly on her face and was in her opinion two sizes too big. Anne had hated herself since she was a child--now she stands in the mirror at 42 everyday and critiques herself. God's sweet serene voice is muffled by the screaming fits in Anne's head. The enemy has convinced her that there is nothing special about her. No one loves her. She is ugly. She is worthless. 

These are all the same lies that so many of God's precious daughters hear every moment of every day. It breaks His heart. He doesn't see us in nearly the same light as we see ourselves. We see ourselves through sin covered glasses, God sees us through perfect eyes. Perfect eyes that want us to KNOW we are gems in His kingdom--gems that He wants to add to His rare and beautiful collection. A collection that has been in existence since that first disobedient moment in the garden, when He could've turned His back on us the way we turned on Him, but He didn't. And He promises never to. He promise to walk through fire with us, to climb mountains with us, He promises that if we have the faith in Him, we ourselves can move mountains. 

Anne is like so many of us. Anne doesn't think God loves her. Anne thinks she is a hopeless mess with no chance at love from a perfect and understanding Father. But she is wrong. We are all wrong when we think there is anything in our life that can separate us from the love that He longs to pour over our unworthy heads. We are unworthy because of sin within us, not because He doesn't find worth within us--He finds much more than worth. He finds and sees the self that He in His perfectness created. He sees the parts of us that we don't even know exist, parts that He stitched together within our souls. It is within those souls that we can find the strength to see ourselves as He does. It is within our soul that we can allow Him to mold us, shape us, bend us, stretch us and be the rare beautiful gem that He formed. 

Read Isaiah 64:8 

Do you feel as if He is molding you? Do you feel like clay, ready to be shaped into whatever vessel He sees fit? Ae you ready to shine like the gem He truly created you to be, or are the whispers from the enemy still too strong to ignore yet? 

Read & reflect on Jeremiah 1:5 

Do you understand that He knew exactly who you were from that moment you were in your mothers womb and nothing you have ever done in your life stops you from experiencing the life He truly sees fit for your life? 

Who Am I outline

Here is the outline of the Who Am I? study. We will finish up next Friday, it's about 2 days per topic. 

1.  Who Am I? 

  A.  Born into His image, loved greatly

2.  Who I am not

  A.  Whatever lies the enemy can create, THEY'RE NOT TRUE

3.  Seeing who the world wants me to be

  A.  Seeing the world for what it is--a fallen temporary place

4.  Accepting that I am His

  A. Stand firm in Him

5.  Accepting who He is

  A. Sovereign, Holy, AMAZING

Our study verse is Jeremiah 1:5

I am day 1

Read Jeremiah 1:5
Read Micah 7:7-8



I was maybe 13 years old the first time I looked in the mirror and said to myself, "you're fat, you're ugly, you are nothing" anything that would make me see myself as ugly as I felt on the inside. On the inside, there was a fire raging & burning me alive. This fire was lit and active within for almost 20 years, until our Almighty Savior revealed to me the power of His mighty hands and quenched that fire with His hands. His hands squashed that fire within me with one fierce grip, a grip that holds me so tight I don't want to catch my breath. I feel safe within His tight grip. I feel power within me, power that enables me to know the truth about myself....I AM SPECIAL, HOLY, CHOSEN, FORGIVEN, REDEEMED, SANCTIFIED, TRANSFORMED. None of these things happen in the manner in which I think they should happen. None of these things happen in the manner in which others think they should happen. No, they happen on His perfect and loving time. He wants to be an integral part of my life, walking with me through every painful and tripped up step. He wants continual communication with me so that I may hear what it is that He wants! I get so bogged down with what others say about me that I lose the truth that He gives--that I am the daughter of the risen King and nothing can ever separate me from Him. He doesn't just tell us these things over and over again, He fills our soul with this unquenchable longing for Him, and if that longing isn't satisfied by Him we continually search for a filler. I don't want a filler, I only want Him. This is something that my flesh fights against, but my soul longs for. When I drown out the clanging cymbals in this world & listen to His ever sweet voice, the negative things I think about myself or the negative things that others say, they just simply don't hurt as badly. When I look at myself through His eyes, I'm amazed and astonished at how simply radiant I feel. That radiance is His Spirit within me. That radiance is His ambiance reflecting outward. 

I am who He formed in my mothers womb--before sin crept in, before this world tainted my existence--I am who the Potter formed. I am miry clay ready to be shaped into whatever tool He would have me be. I am ready to be refined, to be set into only His transformation fire & I look forward to each and every change that He enables me to make. I long to be the vessel that He uses to bring glory to His kingdom. 

Reflect on Jeremiah 1:5

What does this make you feel? Do you feel like clay sitting on a shelf collecting dust while He waits to refine you, or do you feel like you've walked through that fire already & are now collecting dust as you sit on a shelf? Or better, do you feel like He has a firm grip on your handle & can be used in whatever fashion He sees fit? 

Reflect on Micah 7:7-8

A new year, a renewed hope

Goodbye 2011 – Hello 2012

Wow, I cannot believe that we are about to enter a new year. Oh how sweet it truly is, the gift of time!

A gift we so often take for granted. We waste.

I waste!

This year has brought so many changes into my life, my family’s life. I’ve watched as my children have grown, as I have grown. I’ve watched babies be born, marriages begin, lives end. So many blessings, so many trials, all while depending on Christ for strength and clarity.

There were times in this year that I was tested to the point of confusion, not understanding what He was doing in our life. There were times when I questioned Him, cried, threw little tantrums about what I believed to be best. And each time He worked things out, for good, with amazing tenacity.

The hardest part of this year, by far, was and still is the judging I receive from SO many close to me, that cannot or will not accept the new person I have become. It’s kept me up at night {in tears}, it’s allowed the enemy room to creep in and tell me lies about the new me and it’s put a wedge between me and my Wonderful Counselor. These moments had me questioning where He wanted me to go, what He wanted me to do; my purpose for being here.

If I have learned anything through this year, by far, it is that the small persecution I feel from some pales in comparison to the persecution he endured and so many others experience in other countries. I do not fear losing my head {literally} for acknowledging Him as Lord. I do not fear being mutilated, beaten, murdered for my faith. I simply fear the judgmental words some may say about me.

I can stand strong through this tiny persecution. I know that He has given me a new life, and I know that I long to fulfill that life and bring Him praise and glory. I know that I didn’t used to walk with Him—that I was truly a wretched sinner.

I am still a sinner, only now I have been saved by grace and will not waste that grace!

I know without a doubt that I do not want to walk through life with the wrong focus. I do not want to store up earthly treasures. I do not want to be the same materialistic person I was before the indwelling of the Holy Spirit within me.

I want to do all things for God, for His kingdom.

I want to love more, love deeply.

I want to be compassionate and full of mercy, as He is with me.

I want to walk the narrow path.

I do not want to judge others the way I have been judged, but show them grace, kindness.

And most of all I want to love God with my whole heart, my entire soul and my every being.

I want my focus in life to be on growing closer to Him, being a shining light in the world. I want to walk hand in hand with Him, behind Him every step of the way. I want Him to be my sustenance, my strength.

I know that I am full of sin, continuing to shed away this flesh every single day {moment by moment}, and I hope that He shows me compassion as I muddle my way through this earthly plain.

My hope, is forever, in Him.

Nothing, nor anyone, can challenge this hope anymore. I may be shaken, but I will not be broken. I will stand strong as a daughter of the risen King, and I will put my hope forever in Him.

2012 will most assuredly be a good year, because any time that He gives us to grow and strengthen is a gift from His oh so gracious hands.

fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  Behold, all who are incensed against you shall be put to shame and confounded; those who strive against you shall be as nothing and shall perish. You shall seek those who contend with you, but you shall not find them; those who war against you shall be as nothing at all. For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, "Fear not, I am the one who helps you."

Isaiah 41:10-13

I look forward to sharing this next year with all of you, my sweet friends, and ask that you help me as I journey on this path! And if I can help you in any way, I will be there without question!

 

Psalm 69 part 2

Save Me, O God

{Series}

I’m still in Psalm 69, and still learning so much. There are so many times when the life we are living in threatens to drown us, the waters seem so deep that we don’t see a life raft or fresh air to breathe anywhere in sight.

“I am weary with my crying out; my throat is parched. My eyes grow dim with waiting for my God.”

Vs. 3

God’s Word promises that He will deliver us when we are sinking within various trials. He will never withhold His helping hand and He will never forsake us.

Throughout my life depression snuck in at every corner it seemed, and every time I allowed it to rule my life. I spent years within a hole I created for myself; deep within myself. I spent months in bed, days in a hospital, all of which kept me from calling out to God. The pit I found myself in was so dark; I never opened my eyes to His everlasting light.

His light will illuminate our life. His light will shine vibrantly, setting alight the way in which to follow. We must simply call out to Him, do not allow ourselves to grow weary as in this Psalm. Instead, stand strong in knowing that He will deliver us when we are faithful to Him! 

 

An old life....dead

                                                         

I've asked myself more times than is measurable how I allowed myself to sink into the dark pit that I called my existence before God set me free. I remember understanding at a young age that He died for me, but I never understood that I actually had to choose His way. It never crossed my young, immature mind that I had to change my life in order to “walk” with Him. Heck, I didn’t even understand that I could “walk” with Him.

Oh, how my life changed when I realized this. Oh, how my life was transformed when I began walking with Him.

Accepting that He loves me and actually chose me as His daughter, that is so humbling. I just shiver at the thought of my sins being atoned on that cross…my sins sending Him to be crucified.

Today my husband and I attended a funeral. It wasn’t for a lost loved one, but for the lives we have given up. This wasn’t my idea, but Brian’s, and I am so thankful that I followed. How can we expect to move forward in life, truly die to self, when we’ve never given up the stuff that made up our past? 

 In our attic Brian had a box of memorable stuff from his childhood. Books that he worshipped, music that kept him away from God, pictures of his dad {his dad idolizes Brian, and Brian used to idolize him as well}. Giving up these things emotionally was something Brian had done, but not physically. He had accepted that he was a new creation, but still wasn’t willing to part with these “treasures” that he still believed made him who he is today. Well, today he dug a hole and buried this stuff.

It was really sweet when Jaxson came out and wanted to know what we were doing. Brian began explaining that if we have anything in our life that keeps us from God, we need to get rid of it. Brian explained that he was brought up to not believe in God, that his mommy and daddy and don't believe there is a God, or a heaven or a hell and that this really affected him and kept him from knowing Christ and the power of His resurrection. Jaxson {being sweet and naive} wanted to know what his life was like before he knew God. We smiled, because I mean, how could you not, and explained that he has a mommy and daddy who have always taught him about God and that his life is now sanctified with God forever. At which Jaxson replied, "Well, can I throw in my old life too?" How could we not allow him to, so Brian showed him to pretend to take his life and put it in his hands...

and toss it in the hole. Jaxson did it and threw his old life in the hole as well. So sweet!

and of course, high fives for God's transforming life!

                                                            

All of the junk that he held onto that kept him from knowing and experiencing God until his late twenties....it's gone! It was a really beautiful thing and I am so blessed to call this man my husband. I sat and watched as this man that God gave me gave up his life, devoting it completely to the life God has set him on….yes, BLESSED. I didn’t have anything physically to give up myself, but emotionally I gave up the feelings of worthlessness. The feelings that kept me from drawing near to Him because I believed somehow I wasn’t worth His love…..I know today, I am worth it because He says I’m worth it. He says,

“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.”

~ John 15:16 ~

He chose me….He appointed me. He wants me to bear fruit, and whatever I ask of His Father, in His name, I will be given.

WOW!

Simply incredible.

Today was a really neat day, and I am just in love with the people God is transforming us into. Not because we are so special, but because He is so special.