Lesson Learned-God is love

God is love

So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.

--- 1 John 4:16

The last 2 weeks have been trying, long and difficult. When I started feeling sick I simply kept pushing myself; not really resting to regain my strength although I was continuing to lose strength. In my mind I kept telling myself, “I don’t have time to be sick”, as if I actually get to choose when I do and do not get ill. As I continued getting sicker, as the rash continued to spread across my body, I asked God, “Why are you doing this to me? Do you love me?”

I immediately felt remorse for my thoughts; praise God for His Holy Spirit. How could I ever question His love for me? How could I allow this illness to make me believe that somehow my life was so important that I shouldn’t be ill? I then realized how often we as humans truly do that.

How often do we as humans say, “I don’t have time”? How often do we as humans put aside our love for Him and His commands because something is “more important”? And how many times as humans do we believe that God simply does not love us, or this world because bad things happen?

God IS love. Many scriptures affirm this for us, I chose to pray over 1 John 4:16. Notice that it does not say however that God loves. It says HE IS LOVE. That is His nature, His character. He loves perfectly and unconditionally, always. He never acts contrary to His nature. His kind of love always seeks His best for each person.

Now, how do we remember this when we are experiencing hard times? How do we look at situations and people around our world that are suffering and know that He is there and loving us? We must do one thing only:

1. 1. We must always compare our circumstances against the backdrop of the cross, where God clearly demonstrated His deep and abounding love for us once and for all.

We may not understand our current situation or how things will turn out eventually, but we can trust completely that Christ satisfied His unending love for us on that cross. In His death and resurrection, God forever convinced me (& I hope you) that He loves me always.

I choose to base my trust on what I KNOW—His love for me. I choose to trust that in time, possibly never while I am on this earth, He will help me understand the confusing circumstances I or others may be experiencing.

This is not to say that I blindly think that God has to give me account for the things that He does and allows. He absolutely does not and should not. But, He knows that we question things and He knows that we desire affirmation and He will help us understand the things that we are meant to understand.

So, why did I get ill? Well that’s simple, because that was His will. His will is perfect, therefore no matter what the outcome of my illness had been, it would have been a perfect outcome. For He is perfect.

He has loved me, uplifted me, kept me encouraged. What more could I ask for from the Creator of the universe? What more can I ask for then to simply have Him in my life?

He is my Sustainer, my Comforter, my Perfect Friend.

Blessings, Ashley

The Trials of Life

And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

James 5:15-16

I find myself in a neat, new place today. I’ve gone through a full range of emotions since I became ill. From anger, to frustration, to joy and excitement. I’ve asked God why this is happening, I’ve cried because of the pain. I’ve laughed at the names the kids have come up with for the illness and I’ve yelled at my husband for hovering too much.

The truth is: I feel terrible, infested with a disease that is shutting down many functions that I took for granted before this all started. My arms are weak, my legs give out on me, my head is throbbing, my body is riddled with the Lyme rash and my heart is beating far too fast

How many times I have picked up my little girl, kissed her cute little baby cheeks, and yet today, I cannot pick her up. Today I have to ask for assistance in caring for my sweet little miracle baby. My heart aches for her. My heart aches for all my children that I cannot even do things with because my arms are so weak that they often give out on me. Yet, somehow, surprisingly, I’m at peace.

I really shouldn’t say “somehow”, because I know unequivocally that it is by the grace of our unwavering God that I am at peace. To say things are falling down around me would seriously be an understatement. Since I became ill last week both of our vehicles have malfunctioned, possibly died on us. We have bills piling up around us; the medical bills for this illness have already skyrocketed to a few hundred dollars. Brian is unable to work long days because he has had to be home to care for the kids. And here I am, at home in the bed.

In prayer yesterday I found myself asking, “Okay God, what is it that you want me to see? What lesson can I learn from all of this?” The answer was simple, HIS WILL SHALL BE DONE.

I can have my life in perfect order, I can have our days planned out to the last second of the day, but if it is not His will, then everything will fall most certainly fall apart. And it should. Nothing in this life is worth living if He is not the reason we do everything.

I’ve found myself asking for help, something that makes me cringe. I hate going to people and asking for anything. But, this is a lesson I have learned. He works through His body, through the members that make up His body. I cannot begin to live this life without His body, and therefore I am having to rely on members of our Lord Jesus Christ to get me through this. I’ve had to ask for childcare help, prayers, and He has answered each request. He has shown me that He will not give up on me, He will not forsake me.

The last year has been the most amazing, eye opening year of my life. I have grown closer to our Lord and Savior each and every day. I have been willing to sacrifice things I never would have dreamed and it has been surprisingly easy. I have gained not only a Savior, a Redeemer, but my very best friend. He is my rock when I need strength, my fortress when my home is chaotic. And He will deliver me from the hole I have fallen into. I simply need to keep my faith and trust in Him.

This illness makes me think of Job. Job the faithful servant of God, one who was righteous yet tested. I will stand strong through these tests; I will not waver in my faith.

Lord, Father God, I need only you.

Blessings, Ashley

Remain in Him

Remain In Him

We have been meeting with 3 incredible God fearing friends for over a year now for a bible study on Thursday nights. Recently 2 new people joined our adventure and we are so thrilled to share our lives with each other.

We have completed 3 bible studies so far, the first one started our journey. It was titled “What to do when you don’t know what to do”. It was incredible for the beginning of our journey. We then ventured into Crazy Love by Francis Chan. AMAZING! It had so much in it, so much love poured out of that study. Next we studied the book of Romans. Again I say simply, AMAZING! The Christian guidebook basically. We are now studying from Experiencing God by Henry and Richard Blackaby.

One word sums up this study—WOW! We have only just begun; only in Unit 1 of 12 right now. The first page of the study screams at you; screams for you to join God in a love relationship.

I thought I had a love relationship with God. I thought I was loving Him simply by turning my life over to Him. I quickly learned that I needed a personal relationship with Him, just as I do with any other person in my life. Jesus is my best friend, my shoulder when I need someone. Jesus is my Redeemer; delivering me from the bondage I called my life.

Real Christianity is not simply a “religion” one picks up; it is a personal relationship with a Person. Jesus is that Person. He is my way, my truths, my life.

Each unit has a memory verse. This unit’s verse is from John.

“I am the vine, you are the branches, if a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit. Apart from me you can do nothing” John 15:5

Did it scream at you the way it did me?

I can do nothing without Him. He is my source for everything. Apart from Christ, I can do NOTHING. I cannot live this life without Him. I cannot love anyone without Him. I cannot forgive anyone without Him. I cannot function without Him.

This was a wakeup call to me. I humbly come before Christ every morning and ask that His will be done in my life. Only His will. Because, apart from Him, I have no will of my own. I desire to remain steadfast in Him, in His truths, in His light.

Love the Lord

Loving the Lord my God with all my heart

6 years ago my life was in complete opposition to where it is now. I was in the lowest point of my life; and desperately searching for love. Today, I know that God invites us into a love relationship with Him, and it’s His love that fills us; but we must ask Him to come into us. I didn’t have this knowledge then as I do today. I thought I did. I thought I was saved. But the truth is, I wasn’t ready for Him to come in to my life. I wasn’t ready to give my life over to Him.

I realize more and more each day what an amazing, merciful, rich God we have. Every day I stumble and every day He lifts me back up; never because of something that I have done but because He is a faithful and trustworthy God. He has promised us since the beginning that if we would just humble ourselves and call His name, He shall be there for us; heal our lands. What an amazing promise. How amazing that He loves us so much that He will step in every time. He is faithful whenever called upon.

That realization is so comforting to me today. When I look back at so many moments in my life when I could have simply called upon Him my heart hurts. My heart aches for the mistakes made; the lessons learned that could have been avoided simply by calling out His name. For so long I actually thought I was loving Him, and still couldn’t understand how He could allow the things He allowed. I looked at my life, around the world and all I could see was heartache, lives being destroyed. I cursed him at times, although I didn’t even know that was what I was doing. I wanted so desperately to blame someone for my life; for the trials I endured. Who better than the all-knowing, all powerful God to step in and “stop” my hurt.

What a selfish mindset. How self-centered for me to think that this God who I had cursed, who I had spat on, one whose laws and commandments I broke with my every breath should come in and “fix” my life. Yet, I never asked Him to. I never vowed to live my life according to His purposes. I never promised to love Him with my whole heart, keeping His commandments at the center of my life; but I wanted desperately for Him to come and change it.

Christ asks one thing of us, to “love the Lord our God with all our heart, with all our soul with all our mind,” (Matthew 22:37-38) yet we don’t want to live our life the way He says we should. I know I didn’t live like this. I know I wanted Him, claimed Him as my savior but never once tried to change my life. I never once tried to bear His fruit, allowing Him to harvest the good from me.

How we are living our lives is a true testimony to whether we have the love of Christ in us. Not whether we say we love Him, but whether we are willing to admit that we cannot function without Him; that our life is nothing if it isn’t revolving around Him. So many people are lukewarm today; they say they love Him yet their life doesn’t resemble any of His commandments.

I don’t want to live like this. I want His love to shine forth from my very existence. I want everyone to look at me and see someone different than the rest of the world. This is my vow to Him; to love Him so deeply that He can change the deepest parts of me.

His is mighty

He is a mighty and loving God.

He is rich in mercy.

He is powerful and everlasting.

His grace is sufficient for all of our needs.

These statements have rang so true to me lately. He loves us so deeply and so immensely that it's hard to wrap my insignificant minds around sometimes. I feel so completely unworthy, all of the time.

His mercy pours out on us, even when we stumble, fall. He still reigns down His gracious, merciful hands upon our every endeavor.

He is the most powerful and everlasting being. There is nothing that He cannot do. He never ends, His love never dies.

When I feel weak, lost, as though I can no longer push forward, His grace reminds me that He is there. He can meet every single one of my needs.

I stand in awe of Him, gleaming from one ear to the other. The smile that is on my face is permanently set there by His capable hands.

Are you feeling this way today? Are you allowing Him to meet your needs? To love you the way He created you to love?

I'm trying, with every breath I take, with every step I make, I am trying to honor the living breathing God of the universe.