Discipling Children

My Heritage, My Children

“Train up a child in the way he should go. And when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Proverbs 22:6

The season I am currently in in my life is raising children. This is no easy task with 4 under the age of 8, 3 of which are under the age of 4. There is no single day that I go to bed thinking, “Wow, I actually got that right”. Instead, I do what most parents do as they lay in bed, drifting off to that longed for sleepy wonder—I ask, “How did I fail so miserably today, Lord”?

Failure may be a strong word. I am in no means a failure with my children. But, I am a failure as a human. We all are. Every day I wake with the intention of following Christ to the very best of my ability and every day I realize with a lump in my throat that my very best simply isn’t the best at all.

Only His way is best, only His way yields good results. I must simply train my children in the way they should go and lay them in His hands; for they are truly His children.

I have a hard time putting this into practice sometimes. Take for example the day that the 2 year wrote on every single wall in the house; and of course not with pencil but with marker. Or how about the other day when I found my missing package of gum behind the dresser in the boy’s room, with chewed up gum and wrappers all over the floor; only to find out the 7 year old had stolen the gum and chewed every piece and spit it behind the dresser. Really? Who does that?

I’ll tell you who, we do; sinners. I have an even harder time remembering that they are simply human, just as I am. They make mistakes, and they need proper instruction. So, how do we properly instruct our children in the way they should go? Do I half-heartedly say, “Oh, kids will be kids, no big deal”? Or, “how cute is that, she was drawing a mural on the wall”? Um, no, that is the earthly way.

I shall have no part in this earthly world. I shall take myself out of this world and place myself where Christ calls me; as a godly mother rearing my children in admonition to Him. How do I do this, 2 ways: consistent biblical instruction and discipline. They go hand in hand. Nothing we do can come from what we ‘feel” is best or what we “saw on TV” or even what someone “told” us is the way to do it.

God gives us a handbook on life, it’s called the Bible. The bible explicitly tells us what we can and cannot do, what we should abstain from and gives us the tools to raise our children, properly.

So what do I do when my children misbehave or disobey in a deliberate act, well that’s simple; I discipline. Does that discipline always mean a spanking? Absolutely not! But, there are times that call for this kind of action. I look around at the world we live in now, the one in which the government says we cannot spank our children and all I see is evil continuing to spread. I see a world that is so out of control; teenagers pregnant, youth in prisons, parents giving up their responsibility to the “daycare”.

My children, I hope, will love and honor us. I hope, they will see that the way we raised them was contrary to their friends, to what the world may say is right. But, in God’s us, in His law, His word is right, always.

“And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4

This is what I hope to do. Instill truth in them. Instill love from the only holy and powerful God. I hope to stand before Him one day and hear him say, “well done true and faithful servant” and I hope that my children hear this as well.

Blessings

Bearing Good Fruit

Bearing Good Fruit

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:22 & 23

This verse has been hard for me. The concept of “bearing fruit” was so foreign and confusing to me. I didn’t have any idea what it meant to have fruit. I mean, how could I bear fruit? I am not a tree. I am a human.

I read a book 2 years ago about the fruits and my eyes were opened to the depths of the fruits we can bear. I’ve found myself many times in the last 2 years searching for patience, for joy. I’ve often longed for goodness, self-control. I have become angry at myself so many times when I just wasn’t producing what I believed was “good fruit”.

I remembered the book I read by Elizabeth George, remembered the verse in Galatians and I’ve steadfastly been in prayer to try and understand what I was doing wrong. I prayed so often for these fruits; questioned myself when I wasn’t bearing them. Then He spoke to me.

These are fruits produced only IN Him. The next 2 verses in the chapter read:

“And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.” Gal. 5:24 & 25

We can only bear these fruits when we are living in Him. These fruits are only produced when the Spirit produces them in us. I’ve struggled to practice this. Although I’ve known this for a long time, frustration still crept in and distorted my mind so often. I’ve struggled immensely with putting my faith in the Spirit and not in myself. Day after day I am a mother, a wife, a friend, a daughter, a sister; and day after day I long to demonstrate the fruits in my life.

I beat myself up when I don’t show patience, joy, long suffering. I cry when I don’t love, have peace, self-control. And why?

How could I ever demonstrate these fruits in my own flesh? Our flesh wars against Him, they cannot go hand in hand. We cannot serve 2 masters. One must die for the other to take control.

Should I be frustrated with myself? Sure! We should absolutely acknowledge that we are incapable of following Him on our own?

But, should I give up? NEVER! Never should we allow our flesh to run our life and never should we allow ourselves to push Him out. When we are residing within Jesus Christ we can bear all of these fruits. And when we fail, which we will do often, we should continue steadfastly in prayer.

“Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God.” Philippians 4:6

I am so thankful to our God for delivering me from this world, allowing me to enter into an intimate and personal relationship with Him. He reveals Himself to me each and every day and I stand in complete awe of Him at every moment.

My desire is to crucify this flesh; with its passions and desires. I long to live by His Spirit, walking in His will. This desire is one that I must put into action every single second. Every single second I am a human and every single second I must die. If I don’t, He will never live inside me.

I Live

For the past 2 months I have gone through such a wide scope of emotions within myself. There were times when I just sat and cried, and at others I shouted praises to our Lord in Heaven. I've felt a little crazy at times with the flood of tears and smiles.

This week I've felt a writing niche, and I couldn't understand why. I've always loved to write, that's nothing new, but I felt an overwhelming need to share; but couldn't quite put into words what I thought He wanted me to say.

This morning as I got lost in the FB world, which I admit happens far too often, I opened up a video by Francesca Battisteli and then began browsing through YouTube videos and found "I'll Rise" by Michael O'Brien and I heard Him SHOUTING to me.

I got it, I heard it, and I understood.

I want to love Jesus with every single piece of my body. I want Him to fill every facet of my life. I want everyone to look at me and say, "wow, what is different about her?" and I want that difference to be the indwelling of Jesus in my life.

I live, only because He died.
I love only because He first loved me.
& I'll rise only because He rose from that grave.

These are the truths of my life. He sustains me through my every day. There is nothing I cannot do when I walk with my hand tightly grasped inside of His.

If I lose my way in this life, it is He who will guide me back to His will. I will never lose Him, I will never walk too fast that He cannot first lead me. And without His leading, I fall every time. It's only IN His shadow that my footsteps head in the right direction.

He is the direction. He is the way.

I want Him to fill my every hope, my every dream. I want His life to become mine. I want to be filled only with Him.

I know people who believe that "free will" is a great choice, the best gift we've been given. I disagree and think it's satan's desire to have us believe this!

The best gift we've ever been given is the gift of salvation. That salvation was bought at a price, Jesus's life. And I owe Him eternally; a debt I cannot never repay.

With every tear I've cried, with every smile that has graced my face, Christ fills me with Himself and for that I am thankful.

http://youtu.be/5ZcXScXiwDM

Love

What is love? Websters defines it as: 1. strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties 2. attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers. 3. affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests.

I disagree almost completely with this definition and truthfully was appalled by parts of it. What a world we live in where love is actually defined by something involving sexual intimacy. Love has nothing to do with sexual desire. How could it? Love began with the Creator of the Universe, and He most certainly does not desire anyone sexually.

I began thinking how distorted our world has made love. How ugly and demeaning it has become. Love is not based on common interests, because interests can change and love never changes. Love is not an attraction because attraction can change as well.

So I started to think, what is love to me?

Love to me starts with a love for God. Loving Him is the only way we can love someone else. When we are not in a love relationship with Him, we cannot begin to love someone else. Love starts with God, and was magnified with His sons death on the cross. The love that Jesus showed is what true, pure, abounding love means. Willingly giving yourself up for the welfare of those you love. Are we as humans willing to do this?

So many people say a mother's love is pure. That we will do anything for our children's best interest. I find this to be true, for the most part. But, the only way we can truly do what is best for our children is when we first choose to love God, Christ and His Spirit.

If we are not willing to put the kingdom first in our life, and thus, our children's life, we are not truly willing to do anything for them. If we are not willing to teach them God's commandments and put them on the path towards His righteous kingdom, than we are not willing to give them what is best for them. Christ is what is best for everyone, although the majority of our dying world does not see this.

I think this is where the misconception comes from with love. We seek what we "desire" with our sinful hearts. We seek what we "think" is best outside of our relationship with the epitome of love, Jesus Christ. Christ is love. That is His very nature, His character. Outside of Him we cannot experience love.

Sure, we can experience lust, a desire to do what we feel is best. But we cannot truly love if we do not truly love Christ. It is eternally impossible. For love doesn't occur outside of Him.

This is what love is to me; the love of Jesus Christ. Willingly giving up my life for His commandments. Willingly giving up what I think is best because I have no idea what is best for me.

Love starts and ends with Him.

"We love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19

Lesson Learned-God is love

God is love

So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.

--- 1 John 4:16

The last 2 weeks have been trying, long and difficult. When I started feeling sick I simply kept pushing myself; not really resting to regain my strength although I was continuing to lose strength. In my mind I kept telling myself, “I don’t have time to be sick”, as if I actually get to choose when I do and do not get ill. As I continued getting sicker, as the rash continued to spread across my body, I asked God, “Why are you doing this to me? Do you love me?”

I immediately felt remorse for my thoughts; praise God for His Holy Spirit. How could I ever question His love for me? How could I allow this illness to make me believe that somehow my life was so important that I shouldn’t be ill? I then realized how often we as humans truly do that.

How often do we as humans say, “I don’t have time”? How often do we as humans put aside our love for Him and His commands because something is “more important”? And how many times as humans do we believe that God simply does not love us, or this world because bad things happen?

God IS love. Many scriptures affirm this for us, I chose to pray over 1 John 4:16. Notice that it does not say however that God loves. It says HE IS LOVE. That is His nature, His character. He loves perfectly and unconditionally, always. He never acts contrary to His nature. His kind of love always seeks His best for each person.

Now, how do we remember this when we are experiencing hard times? How do we look at situations and people around our world that are suffering and know that He is there and loving us? We must do one thing only:

1. 1. We must always compare our circumstances against the backdrop of the cross, where God clearly demonstrated His deep and abounding love for us once and for all.

We may not understand our current situation or how things will turn out eventually, but we can trust completely that Christ satisfied His unending love for us on that cross. In His death and resurrection, God forever convinced me (& I hope you) that He loves me always.

I choose to base my trust on what I KNOW—His love for me. I choose to trust that in time, possibly never while I am on this earth, He will help me understand the confusing circumstances I or others may be experiencing.

This is not to say that I blindly think that God has to give me account for the things that He does and allows. He absolutely does not and should not. But, He knows that we question things and He knows that we desire affirmation and He will help us understand the things that we are meant to understand.

So, why did I get ill? Well that’s simple, because that was His will. His will is perfect, therefore no matter what the outcome of my illness had been, it would have been a perfect outcome. For He is perfect.

He has loved me, uplifted me, kept me encouraged. What more could I ask for from the Creator of the universe? What more can I ask for then to simply have Him in my life?

He is my Sustainer, my Comforter, my Perfect Friend.

Blessings, Ashley