Walking Upright

More Precious than Gold

This summer my children attended VBS at our church. I was sick at the time and was unable to attend as well. I was very sad at the time; laying on the couch ill. But, one day after VBS was over they brought home these beautiful picture frames. I have had them on my mantle since then. Every day I stare at these photos and each day I hear the Scripture in my head:

More to be desired are they than gold, even much fine gold; sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honeycomb.

Moreover, by them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward.

Who can discern his errors? Declare me innocent from hidden faults.

Keep back your servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me! Then I shall be blameless, and innocent of great transgression.

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.

Psalm 19:10-14

Every day I stare at these pictures that captured my children’s expressions, attitudes almost perfectly. I felt the need to write something on the love I feel when I look at these pictures.

I see Jordon, this precious boy who God handed me at the prefect time in my life. I was already a mother when he entered our lives, yet became a mother to him as well. Look at that grin, that people pleasing grin. He wants love, affection, understanding and fun. He is whimsical, funny, loving and a handful! There are times when caring for him weighs heavily on my heart. Will he grow up to truly love God? Will he grow up to be a godly man in an ungodly world? But God’s promises remind me that if I keep His commands, love Him myself, my children will stay with Him. Nothing will pluck them from His hand because we are not simply teaching them “a way” we are teaching them “the way”. This brings joy to my anxious heart. This little boy is a blessing in my life because he continuously, every day, helps me reside in the Spirit. I have felt God working in our life so abundantly and so richly where he is concerned and I think this is just what God wanted when He placed this amazing child in our life; to keep us constantly in His loving grasp. By dwelling in His faithful hands, I am able to open up a piece of my heart that was closed off because I felt like I had not “bonded” with Him correctly. I felt like I somehow was less of a mother to him because I did not carry him in my womb. I understand now that I am a mother to him because that is what God has called me to be. He has called me to love this child with His unending love and as I look into his beautiful blue eyes I see the radiance of Christ Jesus Himself. When he asks if he can pray because he is scared, or when he says “I can’t wait to go to church, it is my favorite place”, I know that I am not failing in my instruction. I know that this world cannot take him over because He is a child of God.

Then there is Jaxson, the original doodle bug. He is my first born. Loving him brought me to my knees, understanding that I am unworthy of this precious child and desperately need our Lord and Savior to be a mother of His kingdom. We wanted him so badly that we took our lives into our fleshy hands and stepped into the role only God should have. And yet, He forgave me and blessed me more abundantly than I could ever have hoped for. Jax is a light, bright and shining forth in this dark world. His smile radiates God’s love and reminds me each day that God’s promises are true, He is faithful. I look at this little boy who simply adores me, whether I deserve it or not. And at most times, I am completely unworthy of it. But the amazing part-- he loves me, cherishes his time with me and yearns to spend more with me. Isn’t this the relationship we should have with Christ and that He hopes to have with us? He loves us even when we are unworthy, yearns to spend time with us even when we are “too busy”. His love abounds in ways that we can only hope to pass on to our children; and yet it is my child that teaches me this. It is my child that exhibits the love of the Redeemer so immensely that my heart leaps with joyous excitement. This little boy who loves Christian music and Larry Boy movies teaches me how to love as the Savior would have me love; for that I will forever be grateful to He who is my Sustainer.

And then there’s Hayley Peyton, the fiery red head that believes the sun rises and sets with her crystal blue eyes. She is mean, honoree, loud, proud and in charge. She speaks her mind whether anyone wants to hear it; she likes things her way and to her satisfaction. When she stares at you it seems like she can see right through you because she just stares with this empty glare. Yet at the same time, she’s a cuddler, loves kisses and hugs, Barbie’s and babies and playing with her brothers. But what she loves most of all is her Daddy. He is her favorite person in her 2 year old world and has no problem telling anyone. When we sit down to eat, she bows her head in prayer, to the Lord Almighty. When you ask her who loves her most and where that person is she points to heaven. When she lies down in bed at night she instantly clasps her hands in prayer. As mean as she can be, as often as it feels like she is exhibiting selfish attributes, at such a young age she still loves God. She understands that He is important and is willing to give Him her time. I wonder often, is this my teaching or simply the love of God inside of her? I tend to think it’s a little of both. She would not be able to respond if it was not for Christ inside of her, but she would not know who He is at all at this tender age if she did not see something in her life that resembled His love. My little princess is growing into a princess of the Kingdom.

Of course I cannot forget about Lily Grace, she simply was not at VBS to have her picture taken. At 11 months old she is happy, sweet, loving and a helpless baby. J She smiles more than any of my other children did, she laughs and plays independently for hours. She is just a tiny little thin, but, with the strength of the Father, I know she will grow up to love Him just as the others are.

Yes, I think these children are most certainly more precious than gold and I think our Lord and Savior’s road is richer than any gold this world has. He is sweeter than honeycombs, and as I meditate on His truths I know that one day I will be found blameless in His sight. This thought fills me with a peace that can only come from His gracious hands.

Thank you Father, for these children that are more precious than gold; not because they are any more special than others, but because YOU ARE MORE PRECIOUS than ALL OTHERS.

Blessings