I'm realizing each day that God always has a reason for why things happen in our life. I am realizing that although I met Brian in a dark and terrible place, the place that we are heading towards is a place lit by the glow of our Heavenly Father. Our relationship started off in ways contrary to what God asks of us. His commands are clear on the matter. But, I also know that He was there with us during the beginning and although we were living in a manner not conducive to what was good and holy to Him, He has blessed us immensely now because of our faithfulness.
When I look at Brian, I see strength. And this isn't strength because He's so strong or works out constantly. The strength in Him comes from the indwelling Holy Spirit. The Spirit that has changed us both so much. I look at my husband now, where we are in this season, and I see the head of my house and I willingly submit to Him and stand confident that He is making decisions based on what he feels Christ is doing in our life. I know that my faith is in Christ and therefore my husband cannot lead us astray. God is leading everything we do in our life, and He does this through the hands of my loving and devoted husband.
I loved Brian when we first met, but mostly I lusted after Him. It wasn't until I saw the true love of Christ that I was able to truly love my husband. And I love him so immensely now! I long to see the changes manifest in him, long to see as his desire for Christ grows and strengthens. I long to see him lead our family towards and eternity with the Risen and Holy King.
We made a covenant before God, to love one another till death parts us. There is no other option for us, and my heart rejoices with this idea. The question that plagues so many women today, "what if he leaves, what will I do with my life?" this isn't a question that I live with. It's not an option for us. Not because we are better than anyone else, but because we finally our priorities in line. Our first love, is not one another, it is for our Redeemer. It's only after proclaiming that love that we can truly love one another.