Monday, January 9, 2012

Gentleness Challenge Week #2

A Whisper ….

I promised to be totally real when I started this blog, and at times it’s hard I’ll admit. I wonder what word will offend someone, what truth about my parenting will label me a “bad parent” by a reader.

But, truth be told, it’s in my weakest and most failing of moments that I see Him so much greater and feel Him fill me in such amazing ways that I feel it necessary to share these weak moments.

I never imagined when I became a parent that I would need help being “gentle”. As I shared in my last post about doodle’s birthday, I was so ecstatic about being pregnant it never dawned on me that there would be tough days. I just imagined kisses, hugs, playing pretend and being joyous. Fast-forward 5 years and my tone of voice is that of a mother who is stretched so thin sometimes I feel like I could physically snap.

Our challenge this week is to whisper when we feel like we need to shout. To hug more, smile more, and SLOW DOWN. This is a sobering thought for me right now. I’m in the dreaded morning/afternoon/night sickness part of the pregnancy and I’ve been feeling just simply AWFUL. I am weak, tired, nauseous, puking, irritated, cringing at my dirty house.

I am struggling.

And unfortunately the children are not always helpful {however I will give them some serious credit with helping hearts}

But, it’s these times that make me need Him so much more, and it’s these times that show me how quickly I get upset! I want my children to know what blessings they are to me, not how annoyed they make me. I want them to know that through the strength of Christ we can do all things {Philippians 4:13} not just the things we find “easy”. I want them to bear the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Galatians 5:22-23

I wish I could say that this has been super easy and a piece of cake.

But, I can’t. It’s been challenging. But, isn’t that why it’s called a challenge? If it was easy there would be no reason for anyone to change, replicate the love of Christ. If there was one person out there that was not a sinner in need of His grace, He would not have been needed so desperately.

But, we are all sinners and this is one of the sins I’m working on—raising my children with MY HEART RIGHT.

This is only week 2 and I’m sure I will continue learning so much throughout my time with Courtney and Angela. I can say that every single time I speak to the children, I think of my tone. And every time I lose my patience and use a tone that is not gentle, I feel convicted, PRAISE GOD.

So, now I will try this “whisper” approach. We’ll see what happens in a house of 4 children, I may need to bring in the megaphone.



Lovelyladyjb said...

I found your blog through Erin, at Captivated by the Beauty of Grace! I am now following you.

I think it is great that you are seeking to change the things about you that you are finding out that you do. I commend you, you definitely have your hands full! Being somber and thinking before reacting is a great way to keep peace, I pray that God will bring you peace, especially in this trimester as you have a growing being inside of you! :)

Kara said...

What a great inspiration! I'll be praying for you to get through these tough times. I believe in you!

Beka said...

Newest follower. AND WHAT A GREAT POST to come in on!!! I'm a mommy to 2 kids and I can so relate. :)

Thank you for opening up and being God's beautiful vessel!!!! :)


Beka said...

also. I grabbed your button for my blog! :D

Mrs. T said...

I appreciate your honesty. Sometimes it can be hard to be honest with people about who we REALLY are (especially when we dont always know who is reading!!!) but I always feel better and more refreshed!! I actually struggle with being too gentle... discipline is hard for me. I also struggle with patience in those frustrating moments. We are always able to change if we let God change us and pray throughout the day!!

womanwalkignupright said...

thank u ladies! The last year has been a tough one and that's when I've felt the gentle side of me fading away a bit, and I didn't even realize it until Courtney @ Women Living Well gave the challenge. I thought to myself, am I still gentle? Tender? With the crazy things that kids can do I somehow let my understanding and patience slip away and in came the perfection thought, that these children would never make monumental mistakes--b/c mommy simply doesn't have time for mistakes :) I don't want anyone to think it's just a scream session, but there is certainly room for improvement and each of your prayers is so appreciated and necessary to my growth! thank u!