Birthday boy

Jaxson Kolbe Hermsmeier

I remember sitting in the Dr’s office hearing the news that I could potentially never have children. My heart sank. ¾ of my uterus was filled with precancerous cells that would need to be frozen off. The pelvic inflammatory disease had left me with scars. The Dr. told us that we may as well start trying now because there was almost a guaranteed chance we would need assistance getting pregnant-we might as well get the aggravation out of the way early so that after we were married we could start treatments. {Very unconventional, & truly sinful, I know}

How could this be? I was about to be married in only 6 months.

The life I lived, one not consecrated to God but to the god of this world, satan, had left me vulnerable and broken. My sins had caught up to me and now I ran the risk of Never. Having.  Children.  

I cried. Brian cried.

I remember sitting on the bed together and hearing Brian break down to God; the same God I was feeling tug at my heart--& the same God he had denied the existence of for his entire life.

Brian grabbed my hand and prayed, fell to his knees and poured his heart out to God. We decided to have try and have a baby.

My cryosurgery was scheduled for the following month. The news of the possibility of never having chilren threatened to rip our souls out and we longed for a baby. We were sinning against God, but at that moment in our life, we had no idea about the life that He offered.

We knew one thing—we wanted a baby.

Imagine our surprise 6 weeks after the cryosurgery when I fainted and had to be taken to the Emergency Room when we were told, “You’re pregnant, 5 weeks”. I was 1 week pregnant during the surgery—the surgery could have killed the baby but it didn’t…praise God it didn’t.

We were ECSTATIC. The news had us beaming, from ear to ear.

A baby.

A little bouncing baby.

Wow.

Tomorrow this little boy is turning 5, the little boy we never knew we wanted so badly—until the moment we were faced with the possibility of never having him.

Jaxson Kolbe.

Today we know that the decision we made to sin against God needed forgiveness, that this little boy was formed out of wedlock and we have humbly fallen before the throne. But, we look in his beautiful, crystal blue eyes and we just fall in love every moment. We are so grateful for the forgiveness of God, and for the chance to be parents.

Who knew 5 years later we would be the parents of almost 5 children?

I tell you who…GOD. And He worked it out to bring Him praise and glory.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Romans 8:28

We could have continued down the path we were on…drugs, alcohol, living in the lusts of the flesh, never knowing the Creator of the Universe, the Wonderful Counselor, the Savior of our sinful souls.

But, God had other plans for our life. He had plans to use us, for His kingdom, and we humbly serve Him today.

Today, we have 2 children saved, one of which is little Jaxson Kolbe.

He loves the Lord with His whole heart, and had we continued living in the life we were living, there’s no telling when his life would have turned over to the Messiah.

But, praise God He has been raised since infanthood in admonition of the Lord. Praise God that Jaxson didn’t have to live a life not knowing who the God of the world truly is—savior of his sinful soul.

He is our sweet boy, our little doodle bug and he holds such a huge piece of my heart in his tiny little hands.

His eyes are so very blue, and his voice so very sweet. He loves his momma and his baby sister, like A LOT.

He loves Transformers and Spiderman.

He says please and thank you; seriously whenever he speaks. He has manners like you’ve never seen in a 5 year old {or so his unbiased mother thinks, wink wink}

He is a true blessing, as any child is that is given from above, and my heart is heavy as I watch him grow up, leave babyhood and enter into boyhood. I welcome this new stage, as it is a season I must endure, but I relish in the moments that I have had with him and will forever hold them close to my heart.

“Giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified and made us fit, to share the portion which is the inheritance of the saints in the light. He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son.

Colossians 1:12-13

Now prepare yourself for a massive amount of pictures … and to say “awe” like 1,000 times 

 

Maternity shots

 

7lbs 8oz

 

Daddy’s boy

 

Blue eyed boy

One of my favorite pix ever of me and Jax

Think he enjoyed that chocolate?

His first birthday