Friday, October 14, 2011


Faithful Servant, Submissive Wife

Whew, I am going to tackle another hot topic…learning to be a submissive wife.

Please note, this is something I in no way am an expert at. I am simply a woman who loves the Lord and her husband dearly and whose desire is to serve them both faithfully.

I admit, with a heavy and sorrowful heart, I fail immensely at my duties as a wife on a daily basis. I love my husband so much. He stole my heart long before I allowed Christ entrance and long before my children came into existence. But, as the years have ticked by, I must admit that we have struggled.

From the moment we met, passion came easily. We flirted, gazed into each other’s eyes, longed for the next moment that we would have together. Today, 6.5 years later we are the parents of 4 children; 1 special needs school aged child, a preschooler, a rambunctious toddler, and a sweet mild-tempered infant. Quiet, loving moments don’t come easily anymore. The love we share is unquestionable, however it is often something we don’t have time to express it to one another due to our crazy hectic lifestyle. But, He is still my heart and the love I have for him will carry me all the days of my life here on this earthly plain.

Brian grew up with parents who did everything for him, lavished him with the possessions of this world. I on the other hand grew up with a single mother who struggled greatly to provide the basic needs for me, my sister and my brother for most of my life. I love my mother dearly, and I would never purposely mean to say something that may hurt her, but truth being told, upon getting married I had no idea what a submissive to Christ wife looks like.

I have watched as men took advantage of my beautiful and self-sufficient wife and I have watched as those said men have used “submissive” in the ugliest and darkest ways possible.

But, I now know and understand the love of our Lord and Savior and I have dove deep into His word to learn to become the woman that He calls women to be.

Mothers, wives, daughters, sisters, submissive, faithful and always loved.

“Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband.”

~Ephesians 5:22-32

Submission has such a negative stigmata; typically it is thought of as “obeying” when in truth it is meant as being subject to one another. We are to be subject to one another upward and downward. Husbands are subject to Christ, wives are subject to husbands, children are subject to parents and slaves are subject to masters. Notice please that wives are not slaves and are in no way subject to husbands as their masters. There is simply an order to that Christ set up and one that we are explicitly called to align ourselves with.

I do not mean to say, in any way, that women are less than men and somehow men should have “control” over their wives; but I do mean to say that women should allow themselves to be subject their husband’s dominion.

This is not easy; take it from a woman who has been exploited and abused by numerous men in her life. I in no way want to ever feel like a man is “above” me or is “controlling” me. But, as a new creation in Christ Jesus I know that the old has gone and the new has come (2 Corinthians 5:17) and thus the new mind must be transformed.

I cannot tell you the number of times that I try and assert my control in our relationship. I often stand strong and loud and vocalize much more than is needed. And every single time I find myself convicted and sad.

I want desperately to allow my husband to lead this family. I yearn to allow Him to take our family upward towards Christ, submitting to Him as He submits to Christ. It does not mean that He controls me; truthfully it means that he loves me. He loves me as Christ loves His church.

I fail often, and I look forward to the days that I fail less often. But, for right now, I acknowledge the way I know that things are to be in the eyes of my Lord and Savior and my soul longs to fulfill His calling. I know that He will fill me, us, and I know that His love is what will carry us to that place where our marriage is more than just 2 people spending their earthly lives together and becomes 2 souls beating with the King of the heavens.

He is capable of doing mighty things in us and He is capable of doing a great work inside your marriage as well—simply become subject to His order of things.



Anonymous said...

Great post. You're right, submission is definitely a hot topic. Our society sees submission as being a doormat, when that is not how God intended it to be. I am just beginning my journey in Biblical submission, but already I can see how it can bless a family.

Stacie said...

Wonderful post!

God's will for us as wives submitting to our husbands is one of love and protection and safety. It has nothing to do with abuse and mistreatment.

I am blessed by your testimony and the ways in which you are welcoming the change of being a New Creation in Christ. Continue in His Word and watch all of the ways God uses you to be a blessing to your husband, your children and your household.

Take care,