Tuesday, December 13, 2011

An old life....dead


I've asked myself more times than is measurable how I allowed myself to sink into the dark pit that I called my existence before God set me free. I remember understanding at a young age that He died for me, but I never understood that I actually had to choose His way. It never crossed my young, immature mind that I had to change my life in order to “walk” with Him. Heck, I didn’t even understand that I could “walk” with Him.

Oh, how my life changed when I realized this. Oh, how my life was transformed when I began walking with Him.

Accepting that He loves me and actually chose me as His daughter, that is so humbling. I just shiver at the thought of my sins being atoned on that cross…my sins sending Him to be crucified.

Today my husband and I attended a funeral. It wasn’t for a lost loved one, but for the lives we have given up. This wasn’t my idea, but Brian’s, and I am so thankful that I followed. How can we expect to move forward in life, truly die to self, when we’ve never given up the stuff that made up our past? 

 In our attic Brian had a box of memorable stuff from his childhood. Books that he worshipped, music that kept him away from God, pictures of his dad {his dad idolizes Brian, and Brian used to idolize him as well}. Giving up these things emotionally was something Brian had done, but not physically. He had accepted that he was a new creation, but still wasn’t willing to part with these “treasures” that he still believed made him who he is today. Well, today he dug a hole and buried this stuff.

It was really sweet when Jaxson came out and wanted to know what we were doing. Brian began explaining that if we have anything in our life that keeps us from God, we need to get rid of it. Brian explained that he was brought up to not believe in God, that his mommy and daddy and don't believe there is a God, or a heaven or a hell and that this really affected him and kept him from knowing Christ and the power of His resurrection. Jaxson {being sweet and naive} wanted to know what his life was like before he knew God. We smiled, because I mean, how could you not, and explained that he has a mommy and daddy who have always taught him about God and that his life is now sanctified with God forever. At which Jaxson replied, "Well, can I throw in my old life too?" How could we not allow him to, so Brian showed him to pretend to take his life and put it in his hands...

and toss it in the hole. Jaxson did it and threw his old life in the hole as well. So sweet!

and of course, high fives for God's transforming life!


All of the junk that he held onto that kept him from knowing and experiencing God until his late twenties....it's gone! It was a really beautiful thing and I am so blessed to call this man my husband. I sat and watched as this man that God gave me gave up his life, devoting it completely to the life God has set him on….yes, BLESSED. I didn’t have anything physically to give up myself, but emotionally I gave up the feelings of worthlessness. The feelings that kept me from drawing near to Him because I believed somehow I wasn’t worth His love…..I know today, I am worth it because He says I’m worth it. He says,
“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.”
~ John 15:16 ~

He chose me….He appointed me. He wants me to bear fruit, and whatever I ask of His Father, in His name, I will be given.


Simply incredible.

Today was a really neat day, and I am just in love with the people God is transforming us into. Not because we are so special, but because He is so special


1 comment:

Rachel Clarke said...

Love this!! Amazing child like faith! :)