He is the Potter, I am but merely the clay
Recently I’ve found myself in a bit of a quote un-quote “rut”. I haven’t been able to pinpoint what the problem was but I have felt really weird. As I scoped my daily blogs and homeschooling sites this week I found a site called “Women Living Well”, created by a God loving woman named Courtney. Today, I was awakened.
I cannot give Courtney the credit that our King deserves, but I can say that she was a vessel in which He used to speak directly to me. As I watched videos, read her faith statements, I heard Him clearly speaking to me as if He was sitting right beside me, staring me in my tear filled eyes.
Every day for the last 3 years I have felt the presence of the Holy Spirit in my life and every day my flesh tries to squash His indwelling. I wasn’t able to pinpoint my crisis until today, and I finally see what the problem is now.
I am in an adjustment of life after having experienced a crisis of Faith.
Let me explain, while being complete candid.
I committed my life to Christ 3 years ago. This decision was something that I struggled with greatly at first because I thought I had already committed myself to Him. Realizing and Accepting that my life was off course took some serious maneuvering on His part. I believe that we can accept Christ as our Savior, truly believe that He died as a penalty for our sins, but we can still never truly walk with Him, bear His fruit, be blessed abundantly by Him. It is my sincere belief that I lived as one of those people.
When I decided that believing in Him wasn’t enough, that I wanted an intimate, loving relationship with Him I committed myself to changing, yet was not seeing the changes I longed for. Each and every day I have consciously tried to crucify my flesh and allow more of Him to be present in my life. However, each and every day I fail miserably and I truthfully began beating myself up over this reality. I wanted desperately to change, wanted so desperately to be used by Him instantly and could not understand why He was not blessing my life abundantly the way I believed He should be.
It took 3 years for me to finally get what He was telling me, it took 3 years for me to hear what He was most assuredly screaming at me as a I often do to my own children …. “It’s not your life, it’s not your path, it’s mine. Wait, relax, become a woman from my heart and I will bless you immeasurably”.
“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” ~ Ephesians 2:10
He began a work in me long before I ever came into existence and He will be molding me and transforming me as the potter does the clay long after I think I can’t be used anymore. There is only one thing He desires for this world and that is that His name be professed to our dying and sinful world. That is the only way that we can help Him—learning His ways, speaking His name, glorifying Him in our lives each and every day.
This starts at home, raising children to love and honor Him; with our husbands as we learn to submit lovingly, passionately, becoming the bride to our husband that the church is to Christ; and finally outward, to this world that turns its back on Him at every moment. We must make adjustments to follow Him.
We endure tragedy in this world; we should speak to this world about Him and His strength that can be gained. We are blessed with wealth and possessions; we should be grateful and appreciate of His generosity. There’s not a moment, dark or bright, that Christ cannot be found standing firmly at our side and this is not a moment that we cannot learn a vital piece about His character.
This is what I desire and this is what I have neglected to place weight on—experiencing God on an intimate and loving level.
I love Him, but I am not intimate with Him.
I adore Him, but I do not live in adoration to His every step in my life.
God chose Abraham to be the father of His great nation, Israel. God chose Abraham to be a father 25 years before He blessed Him with a child. He came to Abraham 3 times and reinforced His promise yet still waited for Abraham to become the man that God knew he would eventually become.
This is the same in all of our lives. We become anxious, desperately want Him to change us and begin this “work” that we hear so much about. But, are we willing to wait 25 years? Are we willing to wait as He molds us, kneads us and possibly places us on a shelf before eventually using the kiln to form the piece of art of His choosing?
"O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter has done? declares the LORD. Behold, like the clay in the potter's hand, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel.” ~ Jeremiah 18:6
Before today, I was not willing to wait. I wanted change, immediately and I have been upset with myself and a lot of times with Him because I wanted this change on my terms.
Today marks a new day, new piece of art that He has created.
I choose to wait……