As I did my Bible study yesterday, I was overwhelmed with thankfulness to have eyes that SEE so clearly now.
Oh for the scales that used to cover my eyes.
Oh for the shackles that used to hold me down.
Not anymore, though. Not anymore indeed!
No, now I see with eyes wide open, and shackles that have been unlocked.
Today, and yesterday, I can stand on the truth that He reveals--He is my strength and my shield and He will never fail me.
As I read yesterday, in Kasey Norman's Bible study, Named by God, I read a list of sins that we as humans deal with--characteristics that we can possess, traits we can exhibit.
The list was intense, and out of 28 traits, I have only been free from 2 of them. The other 26, I personally watched my family struggle with, or I, myself personally had to deal with.
A few of those characteristics include: adultery, alcoholism, anger, anxiety, depression, divorce, substance abuse, gossip, greed, sexual abuse, and these are just a few; but I think you get my point. These are not positive characteristics that I want to exhibit. These are not good things.
One thing Kasey points out is that we are all sinners at the time of our conception--something I too touch on in my book, less than Three. We are all broken, not because of some thing we went through of some affliction we are dealing with. We are all broken because through one mans sin the world became sinful.
I became sinful.
We became sinful.
I didn't do something wrong that separted me from God, I was simply separated from Him because of sin.
Some of the traits and characteristics I listed, sins in other words, were passed down through generations to me.
I do not excuse the guilty. I lay the sins of the father upon their children and grandchildren; the entire family is affected--even children in the third and fourth generation.
There are sins that I am dealing with, that He can be victorious over, that were directly passed down to me through the generations. There are sins that are still being passed down through the generations and I want to stop that curse.
I want to stop this generational curse for my children and for their children. I want the hope of turning back to Him and living right and justly.
As a child, I was like a sponge, soaking in absolutely everything around me--positive or negative. I won't wallow in self-pity and pretend like I didn't gain any positive traits from the generations before me, or from the family God gave me in this generation. I have some extremely positive characteristics because of the generations as well.
Unfortunately, the negative outweigh the positive.
Unfortunately, it seems that the majority of what I was soaking in, allowing to seep into my fibers, were sinful and negative, and they aided in keeping me from experiencing a life-breathing relationship with Jesus.
The soaking sponge, made me think of my own children--what am I passing down to them? What are they soaking in, and allowing to affect their every fiber.
I know my screaming and yelling is still a problem. I know, without a doubt, that this is the sin that He will conquer next in my life, and I know that I can stop this generational curse that still affects so many of my family still today.
I know I can overcome this sin because I know without a doubt that all things are possible through Christ who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13). I can stop screaming, I can find peace when the anger boils to the maximum levels that require explosion--He will conquer that explosion.
I look at my sweet children's faces, and I remember myself as a child. I remember the fear that would fester when I would upset my family and they would lash out at me. I remember the anger that would boil as I would want to lash back at them. The perpetual cycle continued, and the generations continued.
I want my children to be filled and soaked in grace. I want my children to be filled and soaked in encouragement, not discouragement, and boy am I a discourager sometimes.
What did you soak in growing up, friend? What are you allowing those around you to soak in and be filled with now?
I used to be filled with UGLY, just plain ugly! Meanness, anger, anxiety, fear; oh the list could go on and on. I encourage you, friend, to evaluate what you have be soaking in today, and if it is negative, surrender it to Him.