Transparent Thursday--Be filled by the Spirit

                    

I've shared often in the last few months that I used to suffer from binge eating. I've been on a weightloss journey for a year now, but didn't get intensely into it until February '14. Around April was when God undoubtedly revealed to me that I was suffering from binge eating disorder. 

Binge eating is when a person eats a large amount of food in a short amount of time; often feeling out of control while doing so. 

Food holds us captive I believe so often! I want to say in the United States, but honestly that's probably not fair. I'm sure there are plenty of other countries that have people suffering. I think the difference with the U.S. is just that we often have easy access to larger quantities of food! 

For me, I used food to control my emotions. But, there wasn't just one emotion that allowed its presence. If I was sad, I would binge. If I was happy, I would binge. If I was anxious, I would binge. It really didn't matter what I was feeling, because I am an overly sensitive person and go through a range of emotions everyday. Binging was sort of my escape from how I was feeling. 

If I had a really bad day, I would skip meals and rationalize that I could eat an entire package of cookies because I hadn't eaten all day. What was one package when that was all I had eaten that day? 

But, binging didn't only occur when I was alone or after skipping meals. I could also binge at meal time too. I could rationalize to myself that it was okay to eat taco after taco after taco at dinner because "God loves me just the way I am, who cares if I eat 5 tacos and my body doesn't burn it off, God will still love me."

It was terrible for my metabolism. My body was on the fritz. And so was my mind. 

Yes, God without doubt loved me and He loves all of us despite what sin we are living with. 

BUT, He also loves us so much that He wants us to change. 

He wants us to grow. 

He wants to mold us into His image. 

The truth is, I made excuses to justify eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, and I didn't care what it did to my body--my temple to God. 

It wasn't until God opened my eyes, or I was willing to see the truth, that He was able to set me on this path to understanding how unhealthy I was. Once I walked through the first door, I've been on an endless hallway with door after door after door--all revealing rooms to me that were filled with my sins. 

Here's the thing. Maybe binge eating is something you personally suffer with like I did. The question is, is there a sin or problem that you are not admitting and letting God have because you like the control that you "seem" to have; or even that you like losing control. 

That was me. I liked eating. I really enjoy food. And that's okay. Food in and of itself is not bad. But, the way I dealt with food was bad. I let it hinder my relationship with God. That's what a sin is--it separates us from God. When I was binging, I was separated from God. 

I don't want to be separated from God. I wanted to be fully in His presence. 

But, how could I walk into His presence when I was so busy stuffing food into my system? I couldn't. 

I share this little tid bit as an encouragement that yes, God loves us despite what we are struggling with, but the most amazing part is that He doesn't want us to struggle. He wants to take our pain. He wants to heal our hearts. He wants to take every sin and cast it as far as the east is from the west. 

I see that now. I know that when I am struggling, He will grab my hand and walk with me down that endless hallway--never asking me to open a door to a room with my sins without squeezing my hand intensely. 

He wants to do this for each of us! 

He wants to be there for us. 

He wants to speak truth to us. 

He wants us to see that we are less than only Three. 

Transparent Thursday--Be overwhelmed by HIM

I used to be the woman who freaked out about EVERYTHING. I'm still her at times, but by the grace of God and His mighty, mighty powers I am slowly changing. 

I used to be the woman completely and utterly overwhelmed by everything that this life threw at me, I would sink into a self-loathing anxiety attack faster than I could realize what was happening. 

For years I struggled with my identity. When you don't know where your identity is, the weight of this world can threaten to crush you. You cannot hear the truth of what God says about you because you are too busy listening to the voices that this world speaks. 

But, it is only IN Him that we can truly find our identity. 

I found my identity in this world. I found it in what people said about me, and I found it in the mistakes I made. This crushed me at times. 

Why? 

Because I believed that what people said about me and my past mistakes made up everything about me. 

But, what people think of us doesn't make us who we are. And the sum of our past mistakes doesn't make us who we are. 

God made us who we are. He formed us for a great purpose, one He has called us to.

He says we are royal priests and priestesses, holy and loved. He says we are righteous, redeemed and loved greatly. 

He believed these things to be so true that He was willing to send His one Son to die so that this truth could be our reality. 

We are greatly loved. 

I didn't see that. 

I only saw this world. 

I saw my mistakes, heard the whispers, or sometimes shouts, of the people around me and my spirit was so often crushed. 

Has this happened to you, sweet friend? Don't let it swallow you up as it did me so often.

The payment that Jesus made wipes out every single thing that we think negatively about ourselves, every mistake that we have made, and every lie that someone wants to utter about us. Jesus paid the penalty that we should have paid for one reason and one reason only--He loved us that much. He doesn't want us to believe those lies. He doesn't want us to speak those lies about one another or ourselves. 

Instead, He wants to encounter life-breathing relationships with us. He wants to speak life into our souls. He wants to renew our minds and our spirits so that we understand how greatly we are loved. 

He wants to counter every lie we have come up against with a truth--WE ARE LOVED. 

I missed Jesus for so, so long. I saw only this God that I thought was punishing me. I thought I was rotten and terrible. I thought, "well, if so and so says it, it must be true". 

It's not. 

It never was and it never will be. 

He completely wiped away everything upon that cross. 

We may make mistakes, but when we accept Jesus, the penalty is immediately paid. We no longer have to worry about what this world says or does to us, because Jesus did the most absolute wonderful thing ever--He died for us. 

We don't have to be overwhelmed by what this world hands us, or says to us, instead we can be wholly and completely overwhelmed with how AMAZING GOD IS. 

We can be wholly and completely be overwhelmed by the power of the cross and unashamed because of mercy. 

The song by Big Daddy Weave, overwhelmed, says it perfectly!!!  

We are free. 

We are forgiven. 

We are less than only Three. 

Transparent Thursday--Jesus loves the least of us

                               

(picture via Pinterest)

I have so many different topics on my heart to write about tonight that I have chosen possibly the easiest one to write about--yet the most important ...

JESUS LOVES YOU.

Yes, YOU.

Despite your mistakes, despite your downfalls, despite how badly you messed up yesterday, today or even tomorrow, JESUS LOVES YOU. 

He loved you when He formed you, He loved you when He hung upon a cross and died for your sins rising again in defeat of those sins; He will love you when you mess up so badly that you don't know where else to turn.

JESUS LOVES YOU. 

He loves you if you lied today. He loves you if you stole today. He loves you if you drank too much today. He loves you if you fall victim to drugs today. He loves you if you said a curse word today. He loves you if you had an adulterous relationship today. He loves you if you murdered someone in your mind today, or even committed the act today. He loves you if you gossipped today. He loves you if you turned your back on someone today. He loves you if you yelled at your child today. He loves you if you gave up your child today. He loves you if you said you hated someone today. He loves you if you don't even love yourself. 

JESUS LOVES YOU. 

This might sound like something that is easy for me to say, this might sound like the most cliche thing I could write about; but it is the honest truth and I feel very deeply that not enough people are standing in this truth today! 

JESUS LOVES YOU. 

He loves the least of us. He loves us when we are nothing. 

He loves the weak, the poor, the mistakes and the mess ups. 

That describes every single one of us whether we want to admit it or not.

We are all riddled with sins. Some we easily admit; some we hide from others; some we don't even realize are sins, but oh, oh they are. 

But, JESUS LOVES US. 

He desires one thing, an intimate relationship with us--and through that relationship He transforms us! He transforms us into His image, His masterpiece. 

But, His love doesn't stop while we are still fallen. No, He loves us despite our fallen nature. 

He IS love. 

He loves me. 

He loves you.

Know, that you  are less than only Three.