A new year, a renewed hope

Goodbye 2011 – Hello 2012

Wow, I cannot believe that we are about to enter a new year. Oh how sweet it truly is, the gift of time!

A gift we so often take for granted. We waste.

I waste!

This year has brought so many changes into my life, my family’s life. I’ve watched as my children have grown, as I have grown. I’ve watched babies be born, marriages begin, lives end. So many blessings, so many trials, all while depending on Christ for strength and clarity.

There were times in this year that I was tested to the point of confusion, not understanding what He was doing in our life. There were times when I questioned Him, cried, threw little tantrums about what I believed to be best. And each time He worked things out, for good, with amazing tenacity.

The hardest part of this year, by far, was and still is the judging I receive from SO many close to me, that cannot or will not accept the new person I have become. It’s kept me up at night {in tears}, it’s allowed the enemy room to creep in and tell me lies about the new me and it’s put a wedge between me and my Wonderful Counselor. These moments had me questioning where He wanted me to go, what He wanted me to do; my purpose for being here.

If I have learned anything through this year, by far, it is that the small persecution I feel from some pales in comparison to the persecution he endured and so many others experience in other countries. I do not fear losing my head {literally} for acknowledging Him as Lord. I do not fear being mutilated, beaten, murdered for my faith. I simply fear the judgmental words some may say about me.

I can stand strong through this tiny persecution. I know that He has given me a new life, and I know that I long to fulfill that life and bring Him praise and glory. I know that I didn’t used to walk with Him—that I was truly a wretched sinner.

I am still a sinner, only now I have been saved by grace and will not waste that grace!

I know without a doubt that I do not want to walk through life with the wrong focus. I do not want to store up earthly treasures. I do not want to be the same materialistic person I was before the indwelling of the Holy Spirit within me.

I want to do all things for God, for His kingdom.

I want to love more, love deeply.

I want to be compassionate and full of mercy, as He is with me.

I want to walk the narrow path.

I do not want to judge others the way I have been judged, but show them grace, kindness.

And most of all I want to love God with my whole heart, my entire soul and my every being.

I want my focus in life to be on growing closer to Him, being a shining light in the world. I want to walk hand in hand with Him, behind Him every step of the way. I want Him to be my sustenance, my strength.

I know that I am full of sin, continuing to shed away this flesh every single day {moment by moment}, and I hope that He shows me compassion as I muddle my way through this earthly plain.

My hope, is forever, in Him.

Nothing, nor anyone, can challenge this hope anymore. I may be shaken, but I will not be broken. I will stand strong as a daughter of the risen King, and I will put my hope forever in Him.

2012 will most assuredly be a good year, because any time that He gives us to grow and strengthen is a gift from His oh so gracious hands.

fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  Behold, all who are incensed against you shall be put to shame and confounded; those who strive against you shall be as nothing and shall perish. You shall seek those who contend with you, but you shall not find them; those who war against you shall be as nothing at all. For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, "Fear not, I am the one who helps you."

Isaiah 41:10-13

I look forward to sharing this next year with all of you, my sweet friends, and ask that you help me as I journey on this path! And if I can help you in any way, I will be there without question!